So recently I’ve been thinking about how we are sometimes mean to ourselves. We can get caught up in parts of our body or face and it becomes a thing. We can kind of obsess about it.
I think this is unhealthy in all kinds of ways. I mean for a start this is ‘you’ right? Your face is your face, your body is your body. You can change it to a certain extent. Maybe quite a lot. You could lose some kgs, get stronger, make a fabulous balm with camomile flowers and paste it on your face to hide the flaky bits, but you will still be you.
The ‘you’ that you are is probably perfectly fabulous. Unless you’re a serial killer or something. Then you are not.
I do understand the moments of being a bit down on these things. I try not to have them often but at the odd times that my tits look bigger than my head I get it! I understand. But I don’t think they are helpful. I actually think they are quite damaging and make you miserable.
When I hear people doing this I am horrified! I’m generally looking at that person thinking about how perfectly sweet they look. How intelligent, witty,funny and fabulous they are. I’m not noticing lines or extra layers or messy hair or anything else! I’m just engaging with an ace person.
And I want to yell….. STOP BEING MEAN TO MY FRIEND!!!
I’ve known my oldest best friend since I was seven. We met by having an argument over a chair. Some of my best friendships have started with a bit of argy bargy. She is never mean to herself. She is black. She has had enough people through outright and subtle racism be mean to her. She doesn’t need to be mean to herself. So she never is. You can tell. She lives her life reflecting that. And she’s never mean to anyone else.
We have this kind of competition thing about who is the nicest. She is like ‘Shit, you are so nice to people’. I’m like ‘Nahhhh I’m not, I judge people on the train’. She is like ‘I am so not nice’. But she is. She is one of the nicest people I know and being nice to herself is one of her greatest assets.
I think it’s all okay. I think we need to remember to value ourselves. I actually think that we are all ‘the shit’!! ❤️