Fark it’s hot!

So hot stuff eh?!

Funnily enough I have a massive urge for a run today. Like totes massive, but I can’t because I will die.

We have some unreasonably hot weather at the moment. I think I read that it’s around 11 degrees hotter than usual. The long and short of it is that it’s shit. I don’t really mind hot weather too much. In fact I often run in weather that makes people screw up their face and enquire after my health, but this is something else!

I have spent the day providing a few spa experiences for the chooks. They don’t mind this and are terribly pleased after their bath. They make the happy noise, the deep in the chest one. At the end of this I am generally a great big sweaty mess covered in mud and picking out the best bits of frozen watermelon from the dirt to pop into my mouth. They sit there like soaking wet but graceful old ladies looking at me like I am another chook. We totally have conversations. The deep chest noise.

Queen Gladys the spunky boys cat is currently in the spare room. With air con. I know. I never use air con, but I am for a few days because it’s like pet rescue here and I am shamelessly jumping on the bandwagon. It’s for the animals.

The boys decided to move house on the hottest day of the year. I mean it’s been going on for a few days but it was the final things. The electric and gas had been organised to be turned on but of course they didn’t do it. Because ya know hottest day of the year and there was bound to be a cock up of some sort. I became hysterical about Gladys, the Doc upped the ante by mentioning that animals die and so I drove over to get her and the boys came to stay for a couple of days because like you just go home right?!! You do! You go this is bad. And go home. We love it❤

The Doc started throwing crisps and beer into the shopping trolley whilst yelling ‘THEY ARE GOING TO EAT ALL THE NOODLES!’.

I drove to get Gladys who was pretending to pant but it was possibly real, then suddenly lay on her side in her carrier like a bloated dead animal!!! I shrieked GLADYSSSS!!!!! She sat up and hissed.

The Nan and the Grandfather were convinced that it really was okay to lock up and put air conditioning on downstairs. The Grandfather laid in the bed with his dressing gown on because he feels the cold. I dropped the Doc off to the airport this morning because she is off to Seattle. It’s snowing there. Let that sink in for a second…….

Before she left she said ‘Old people are like lobsters. They don’t realise they are hot till they are dead’. Lots of nods from me. She then told her father that he had better bloody behave himself while she was gone. More nodding from me.

I made the small spunky boy the special sauce for the popcorn. I don’t often make this but sometimes if I’m begged I will. It consists of a big slab of butter and golden syrup. Small spunky boy is like ‘That’s quite a lot of butter’. I’m like “Jesus, it ain’t good for you mate, in any quantity. It’s an heart attack. IN YOUR BOWL! It’s inflammation, it’s diabetes. It’s death in a bowl’.  He looks at me like I’m psychotic. I am. It’s the heat.

I had a good yell at dinner last night. I don’t know why. There were so many vegetables and it was hot and so I reacted in a totally psychotic way to a reasonable comment. But then we ate dinner and it was all okay but there were a lot of leftover vegetables. I couldn’t run yesterday either.

The Doc says a few days ago… “Wanna come to Seattle”. I’m like ‘Ahhhh I’ve got Uni babes”. She’s like “Meh”.

So as I sat in the dirt in the chook yard earlier picking up the best bits of frozen watermelon I declared myself a fucking saint. ❤



Categories: Running

6 replies

  1. You’re hilarious! The chooks definitely need spa experiences. We got three new chooks today. A fox took ours before Christmas 😔. But now we are home for a while we got some more. No spa treatment required in Melbourne, it was actually cold today! Take care in the heat – it does cause all sorts of hysteria! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a saint, Edie! We seem to have missed the Melbourne heatwave. It kindly happened whilst we were frolicking in the snow in NY. Mind you, that may have made me a bit crazy too. There may have been tears as the rest of the family enjoyed the cold but it was a bit much for me!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You are a farkin saint and farkin funny 😂 Xx

    Liked by 1 person

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