So as most of you know I’ve gone back to Uni full time. I only decided this about 3 months ago and threw myself into the process much like I usually do with blind faith that it would all work out. It always does right? It is, it’s fine but terrifying. There are lots of moments of “Shit”, and then lots of moments of “I remember this shiz from Uni twenty years ago”.
Things I’ve learnt this week….
- The train smells, even if it’s half price. You will spend your time perched on the end of the seat like a budgie. People will read standing up on the train. For realz! You will forget your book and have to look at your phone instead like a looser. You will realise your uni is between 2 sites and that some classes will be a shit to get between in time. Also one of your sites has a zillion cafes, restaurants and shops and you could potentially become fatter and poorer. Good advice is to leave your wallet at home and buy a coffee once a week.
- Plagurism is akin to being a serial killer. It’s such a serious offence and you will do it even if you don’t mean to. It will be pointed out and you will DIE!!! The shame. Omg. After hearing this you will never want to write anything again in your whole life. Then the lecturer will smile and say “Its going to be fine, you will totally get the hang of it”. You will sit there with a face like a smacked arse. (I haven’t done this yet, give me time).
- You will be pleased that you went to some of the pre orientation sessions. You will learn some shiz as well as be horrified that you might not cite properly. You will also realise that some things are directed towards the younger folk like the rock, paper, scissors scenario which consisted of lots of yelling and cheering and feeling like I was at an evangelical cristian camp. “Does anyone not know rock, paper, scissors” they said. I stayed quiet and fortunately wasn’t chosen and instead lolled quite a lot with a lovely drama student boy who was sporting very sparkly acrylic nails. We totes made mates.
- You will meet so many people of ALL of the ages. They will ALL be nice. Yup. I spoke to so many people from youngsters who had come to Uni from other towns in Australia, to locals, to more mature students. It was such a nice feel. I don’t think I stopped talking but I think that’s the way to make friends plus I can’t help it.
- I met a lovely woman who is studying business. She was super nice and got the really crap free lunch. This totally shits me for vegetarians. It was a roasted vegetable wrap. I know! Omg. Gahhhhhhh. Why do they do this for a vegetarian selection? Mushed pumpkin and roasted veg in a wrap!!! Fuck my old boots! I had thought ahead and when choosing my free lunch had selected the Halal version because it was a spinach kind of bread thing. My beady eyes had spotted the roasted veg wrap option. The man on the sign in counter said “I know you are vegetarian but do you really need halal”? “Oh yes I do” I said. It was like one of those moments where a private obstetrician rings me and says ” Do you have a spare room because I want to induce someone for a really shit reason”. I said it in that way…. like “I’m so sorry I really don’t have a room at the moment, we are totally under the hammer but I will get back to you later”. Like truth. But not. So I shared the spinach thing with the new friend who was being very nice about it all but I knew she was so shitted by the wrap. Also I was reminded to always carry a bottle of chilli sauce for free lunches because they will be fairly tasteless and crap.
- You cannot use the words fuck, shit and totes in your academic essays. Even if you get on quite well with your tutor and they think you are totally hilarious, you will still fail. You can buy totes in the University bookshop but don’t use them in your essays. (L.Jennings, NZ, 2017)
- Pip Lincoln once said to me… “You have the makings of a writer but you have to keep writing”. That’s one of the best bits of advice and one that was repeated this week. It’s all about practice. You will grow. Yup.
- I met a girl for a fleeting moment and I liked her a lot. She’s called Ramisa and she has a really lovely blog which you can find here. she writes so beautifully and she’s a law student. But she should be a writer. Yup. And she doesn’t say fuck. She asked for the name of my blog and I hesitated a moment and said “Ummmm, it’s a bit sweary”! She said she didn’t mind a bit. If you want to see some non sweary very beautiful writing then head on over there. She is fab. Hopefully I will see her around campus for coffee (Y’know, the weekly one we can afford).
- We had an opening lecture by a fantastic woman called Dr Selena Bartlett who is a neuroscientist. She is a really fascinating speaker and her whole work is studying the brain. Incidentally she also runs marathons and has a big interest in addictions (sugar is one of them) and found that even when she was running 19km a day she couldn’t lose her extra weight. I was totally paying attention at this point and asked her an interesting question. I then told her I was a runner and anyway in the end she gifted me her book. TOTALLY NICE RIGHT! It’s super interesting and I might write more about it another time. For anyone who is interested and wants to know more about how to actually rewire your brain, learn about stress and anxiety and addiction and other stuff go here.
It’s been a busy but fab week and I’ve loved ALL of it. ❤